


The Avanced Mechanics of a Snarky Tin-Can and the Immense Irriation of it's Creator

by bicantankerousJinx



Series: The Misadventures of a Cactus Noodle and all it's imaginary friends [1]
Category: Real people doing real shit
Genre: Gen, Robots and shit
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-05-22
Updated: 2013-05-22
Packaged: 2017-12-12 15:14:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 605
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/812991
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bicantankerousJinx/pseuds/bicantankerousJinx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Shanae decides to build a robot based on her imaginary friend, but could this just be a big mistake??????</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Avanced Mechanics of a Snarky Tin-Can and the Immense Irriation of it's Creator

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know you irl and you have somehow stumbled upon this fic then you should probably just ignore it coz it's just about me and my friends being weird.

This is going to be- by far- the coolest thong you have ever done. 

Your robot buildy skills have never created anything quite this cool before. 

Your imaginary friend, Kiffy, is finally about to come to life. 

Now you'll show them all that you're not crazy. 

You adjust some of the screws on the arm and go back to constructing the head.

You attach the main skull shell to the top of the neck, which consists of several hollow circular pieces of steel, which is allowed movement by a set of ball bearings under each piece. The neck pieces click together, the connecting pieces stopping the head from being able to spin right around. 

Onto the skull shell, you attach the ear pieces, which consist of the ear shell itself and the microphone inside it. The ear piece also holds part of the jaw, just not the bit that moves. 

You begin constructing the face. It took you hours of steady work to get all the proportions right. 

Building your imaginary friend is a lot harder than drawing her. 

Once the face, jaw and chin are all intact, you move on to attaching the scalp piece. 

The scalp piece was just the shape of the top of a persons head, and screws in to the top of the face and covers most of the skull shell. 

Part way through attaching it though, you remember you'd forgotten something. You almost think for a minute how funny it would be if you didn't insert her mainframe data system and just gave her a music box instead so she could just run around singing "if I only had a brain". Ah ha, priceless. 

But how could you do that to your good friend Kiffy?

You place the system into her head and add an extra memory card just in case. You attach all the systems and hear a momentary whirring as they all connect. 

When the whirring stops, you attach the scalp piece. The scalp was embedded with thousands of tiny wig fibers which you individually attached each one _by hand_. You just bought a cheap black wig off eBay and used the hair from that. 

You cannot wait to see your once fake friend come to life before you. 

It's been so long since you began this project and now you are almost done. 

You commemorate the moment by posting a Facebook status. 

 

" _Guys ermagerd I'm just about to finish building this Kiffy-bot_

 _Hellz_  
 _Fucking_  
 _Yes._ "

Yes you think that was adequate. 

You watch as your like count goes up.   
You delete a nasty comment from a doubter.   
Stupid doubters. All up and doubting you. 

You enjoy your Internet fame for about five minutes before returning to the robot laid out on the table in the middle of your room. 

You are so fucking excited right now. 

The main battery has been plugged in and charging for the last few days. You had to splash out on a really nice battery with an awesome battery life. 

And there went your life savings. 

You reach over and flick the switch at the back of her neck. 

Instantly the machine whirs to life. 

After letting the machine warm up for a few minutes, you finally reach in to flick the switch behind her ear. 

You can't wait to see the first thing she does, to hear the first thing she says. You hit the switch an her robot eyes flick open. Within the second, she has begun to say something to you.   
You are so fucking happy. 

'Sup faggot'

You hit the off switch faster than you can blink. 


End file.
